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Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Yes, we can! And until then...I'll keep the faith.

I spent Thursday, January 22, 2009, inside the impressive D.C. must-see,
The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, the week I attended the historic Barack Obama Inauguration. As with all museums in Washington, my entry was free. Si, totalmente libre! While my hostesses, Bren and Mike, worked, I bowed to a calling within to visit the memorial, a museum I'd visited ten years prior, when I last found myself in our capital city, visiting my beloved first couple, Bren and Mike.
From the museum's entrance, I latched onto a small group with a diminutive Jewish survivor, knowledgeable and warm, serving as a top-notch guide, who informed us of tidbits of information unnoted on the placards under Holocaust pictures of suffering and devastation and heroism. As he narrated the story of massive destruction, his eyes glazed over here and there in the telling, and he paused, a screen we couldn't see materializing just beyond our group, and his face clouded, tears misting his vision behind tiny, oval-shaped spectacles.
"I was twelve when my parents got me out of Germany," he confessed, in voce sotto. "I came here to the United States, to be with my oldest sister, who had come much earlier, with her new husband." He faced a large, glassed display of Hitler and grim-faced flanks of the Secret Police. "That was the last time I saw my parents, my family. No one survived. All of them. Gone. It was only me and my sister."
I stared at him, trying to imagine his pain, years old, albeit forever new.
"I am sorry." He made a decent show of brushing sorrow into his cheeks. "I cannot ever give this tour without feeling the horror, the pain, every time. Forgive me."
I said nothing. There was nothing to forgive. The others---two men, one Black, the other white, and two Black women---were silent, all on the same accord. We waited patiently as he calmed himself and returned to his role as our guide, walking and talking.
As far as I could tell, we were thoroughly engaged. He was a master guide.
He probed our knowledge of the period, asking pointed questions, responding encouragingly, espousing asides that widened our eyes and accepting our commentary and queries with genuine care and concern.
I attached myself to the foursome on the first floor, where we entered an elevator that seemed to wail with a heavy sadness as it carried us to the fourth floor, the top of the building's famous artifacts and exhibits. Thus, the flow of our tour took us downward, as though we were advancing down through Dante's seven circles of hell, filing past one horrific scene after another, pictures of shattered families and unforgettable heroes, Jewish and German, who fought back in the best way they could, one German woman consenting to be her employer's mistress just for him to "overlook" the knowledge that Jews were being hidden on his extensive property. We trailed our guide, eyes photographing the dank, wooden, uncomfortable-looking, bare bucks of the crude housing in the death camps, bringing to my mind what it must have been like in the death-stalked hulls of slave ships carrying my Black African ancestors to America's shores.
Our guide was of the same mind.
On several occasions, he paralleled the Holocaust to the atrocity of American slavery, and when he did, the sole white member of our group chafed visibly, angrily. But our guide made no indication that he noticed, yet each time this man rankled with an American slavery comparison, I studied him. He didn't seem to mind my observation, considering he hardened and squinted, flared and cringed, disconnecting paces away and moving back into the group when he'd shirked his perturbation.
On the second floor, I decided to go it alone, not wanting to worry Bren, who was expecting my call towards four o'clock, the hour she'd be leaving the office. Noting the time on my cell's face, I determined to accelerate my tour, so, before long, I eased away from the group.
The listening booths claimed my attention. The actual voices of Holocaust survivors whispered, transporting me back through time, and via their vivid, piercing memories, I joined an enclosure of others, who, listening, vicariously faced tremendous cold, meager food, harsh cruelty and insurmountable demonstrations of love in the midst of devastation.
From there, I eventually found myself sitting on the top tier of a moderate-sized amphitheatre, where museum guests sat and watched a film of Holocaust survivors recap their mesmerizing, blessed, hair-raising escape from Nazi tyranny. I sat straight-backed, soaking in the triumphant testimonies. One woman stared out at the audience she could not see and advised us to "never give up," no matter where we found ourselves in life.
Swept up on a tide of sorrow and joy, outrageous and victorious, I couldn't help gazing around me, to catalog the reactions of fellow visitors. That was difficult to surmise. They were bunched together on lower tiers, crammed tight, almost huddled, same as they were down the bench from me, so far down the bench it was difficult to ignore.
It was as if I'd suddenly become Pepe La Pew, trailing a plume of stink. As if I were an outed Jewish woman and they German countrymen, waiting for the heart-stopping siren of the SS men to swallow me in a whirl of red. As if we were in the Old South and I were a field hand or house servant awaiting my ten minutes of fame on the auction block. As if a true African-American, Barack Obama, hadn't been elected to serve as the country's 44th president.
Yet even as I observed the white voluntary segregation and felt its presence throughout the museum, I felt myself grow taller. More compassionate. Extremely attentive to the testimonials. And I smiled and shifted my legs, making room for a smiling woman who inquired if she might sit beside me. She took in my red skull cap, smiled wider. "You make it to the Inauguration?"
There is always a ray of hope in the darkest night. "In living color, all day, in twig-cracking cold!" I chimed softly.
Blue eyes shimmered. "Me, too!"
We exchanged a few more words and then focused our attention on the film.
"Yes, we can!" I reminded myself, borrowing Barack's campaign clarion call. And until then, I, like so many others, will keep the faith, believing we, as a people in this country and around the globe, can and will rise to the mountaintop, where hatred and separatism in thought and deed will never again lead to systematic persecution and annihilation of one group by another, even though it was happening across Africa and other places as I sat in the U.S. Holocaust Memorial, grateful for my trip, my beloved family and friends, the day, my experience, the woman beside me, and the open heart behind my ribs.
Yes, we will, one day...

The Golden Goddess soars.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I Welcome Another Happy New Year!

Oh my God!

It's another year! 2009!

I can barely believe it, but it's true. I'm entering this one with so much behind me and a plethora of blessings before me. With gratitude at the center of my being, I sit here in my third-floor office listening to the sounds of another amazing night, this one feeling much like the magical night the country embraced her First Black President. Gunshots explode in the distant silence. Traffic hums. Night voices punctuate the stillness. Down the hall, my bedroom phone rings. And I let it ring, determined as I am to sit with my thoughts after being away from my blog writing since early November.

Yet I shall not revile me. After all, I adore Miz Me!

Behind me, I think back on the passing of the Magnanimous Eartha Kitt, a lovely legend, a woman who, in my eyes, was not only The Most Exciting Woman in the World, but also The Most Beautiful Woman in the World. Those cheekbones, that nose, those lips, the facial structure, the exquisite body and that renown voice and purr! Eartha, a singing wonder, was a burlesque beauty. An actress. A mother. What I adored about Miss Kitt the most was her ability to live the life she desired, no regrets.

And tonight as I perch daintily on the edge of this chair before this keyboard, I vow to live like Eartha Kitt---freely, boldly, creatively. I will walk up to my fears. Look them in the heart and proceed to do everything under the sun that I wish to do. I will embrace my unique beauty, not bowing to emulate others, but understand the blessing in who and what the Divine made me. I am my own blueprint; therefore, I will live the impress that I am and be satisfied with the extent of my reach. The same Power that animates me, animates anyone I might have envied, so why envy.

Time is too precious, life too amazing.

Like Barack, I will dream the impossible dream; I will reach for the unreachable star. Fearlessly, I will walk out on the limb, same as I walked out on that tenuous limb and left the classroom, to live a life I only dreamed of. I will keep my vow: to walk by faith and not by sight.

It's 11:55 PM.

I'll not wait to dub myself a maverick. I'll run out onto the field and learn in the process, like Palen, and I'll enjoy it, contrary to what the crowds may think.

Before me, as the clock ticks down to 2009, I resolve to live life richly and with wild abandon, relishing love and sex and food with identical enthusiasm. I'll not put myself away to spoil in a corner of a chilly refrigerator. I will surrender to the moment, the here and now. I will accept the gifts of the Divine without the inclination to horde. I will share in and out of plenty. I will remain in this seat and continue writing, although the gunshots outside my window are fierce and heart stopping. I vow to hurdle all fear as I race toward my dreams. I will write, read, dance, act, and travel.

I will support the dreams of others where time and inclination dictate. I will uplift with my words. I resolve to think the best before I ponder the worst. I will love me as no other can love me, while loving others regally. I will look for the blessing in the madness. Unbound, I will welcome good-bye if another doesn't wish to stay, and likewise, I will embrace the liberty to depart when my heart says move on, knowing there is no beginning or ending in the timelessness of Spirituality. I will love with an open heart, like India sings so eloquently.

It is already 13 minutes into a New Year!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Remember the greatest gift you can ever offer another is your time. The Divine has graced us with another golden year. I promise to live mine to the fullest...starting right now. What will you do with yours?

Besos y bendiciones,
The Golden Goddess